A friend posted something so compelling to me today on facebook, I had to ask if I could quote her in my blog. In response to a well-meaning inquirer, she said,
“Next time don’t worry about me, wonder about me. O.K. It’ll make me feel better if I know you’re wondering and not worrying.”
Wow. That struck me in a deep way. Worry is assuming a likely negative outcome where wonder is open to possibilities. She went on to say:
Wonder is a completely different energy than worry. Once I am full enough of wonder, I want to know. When I want to know, I do something about it. Wonder is a fluffy full feeling…you don’t feel weighed down. Worry gives the illusion of fulfillment. You fill up with a gnawing emptiness. You feel the weight of helplessness…that you can’t do anything.
She raises such an important distinction here in the energy/tone/mood of the word and corresponding action/emotion. About 20 years ago I replaced, “Have a nice day!” with “Create a great day!” for the same reasoning she shares in her insight. ”Having” assumes we are recipients without much power in the matter where “creating” is open to possibilities and participation in the outcome. It also implies responsibility. Remember, response – ability is really the ability to respond. Responding to “wondering” has more options than responding to “worrying” just as responding to a day you are “creating” has more options than one you are “having.” Sometimes words matter more than we realize. Thanks to my friend, Angie Haen, for such a great insight today.
She also shared these great quotes:
Worry is a misuse of the imagination. – Dan Zadra
You can’t wring your hands and roll up your sleeves at the same time. – Pat Schroeder